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dreambeat of a heart
brush of fingertips
breath of a sigh
flutter of a kiss
whisper of love
anything more than
the life of a dream?
paradisehear your voice inside my head
wake once again and roll over in bed
i could have sworn that you were with me here
felt your arms tight around me, your kiss on my ear
when the darkest dreams fall away and the sweetest ones come true
i'll know that i'm in paradise because i'll be laying next to you
tears of an angel...try not to see all of these words
that are burning their way
through my mind.
stop all the clocks
keep me here in time
i don't want you to leave.
i won't let you say goodbye,
i won't let you slip away from me
can you see the stars are crying tonight?
as the twilight slips into darkness
so too these tears slip down, unbidden.
try to swallow them, choke them back
but the harder i try, the faster they fall
please don't leave me here, alone.
can you hear the cries of the stars?
they are echoing mine. the sky
calls out of this deepening darkness
reaching out of this broken soul
and now you will see me,
watch me fall as i fall
ever further into
darkness, and i
i wonder if you
can, can you,
hear heaven crying?
these are the tears of an angel
hues of color
black and purple
depth of darkness
end of life
shores of paradise.
Our Farewell...A handful of photographs
A memory of a smile
A resounding laugh that lingers
An embrace of warmth and love
A dream of a different ending
A wish of happier times
A hope of another meeting
A loss of your beautiful life
A week of crying myself to sleep
A month or two or more of numbness
A year of missing you
And there are more yet to come
I never thought it could happen,
That that day would come so soon,
That I'd never get to say goodbye
And I am missing you,
For this is our final farewell.
walk away from the sunCould bleed for your smile
And cry for your pain
Could ache for your loss
And hurt for your shame
Walk away from the sun
You're coming undone
And you don't tell anyone.
perchance to dreamsleep perchance to dream,
dream to never wake,
fall to keep on standing
and stand only to fall.
fight to never win,
win only to keep on fighting.
live to never die
and die to finally be alive
stop timesand in glass
take a breath
blink an eye
make a pause
fall in love
youngwe are the young, the restless, the hopeless
we march to the drums of the damned
we walk in the shadows, the fields of the battle
shine our lights from burning candles
keep pressing onward until this is over
we are the demons, the damned, the hated
we'll stand together, alone
facing the fight that is all that we've ever know
we'll fight and we'll fall at the scream of the angel's songs
I Thought I was Your AngelFall to the floor
No words can reach me
You can't hurt me anymore
So keep yelling words
They only spin around me
I no longer hear you
But I'll just keep pretending
Pretending that I'm not slowly dying
That I don't need you anymore
And I'll just keep wondering..
Where are you now..?
How did we grow apart?
All I have now are burnt memories
And I can't stop thinking of you
You made me who I used to be
I thought I'd tell you,
I'm sorry I broke us
But you broke me
Now I can't feel anything
I can't even convince myself,
That if it wasn't for you
I'd never know who I was
Because I still don't know who I am...
I told you I didn't care
Not about how far away the stars were
Or what anyone could see on the surface
Because all I needed was you
You breathe on my neck
What did you expect from this?
All we had were your made up truths
And my broken words
Leading only to my tears
And your goodbye...
We could've slowed down
Let the world stop before us
There's nothing you can do no
Maybe the Truth Isn't...If I could dream,
maybe I wouldn't be this broken.
Your warmth would keep me together.
Your smile would keep my heart beating.
But this isn't a dream
Nights are sleepless.
No matter how many sheets I wear,
I'm still ice cold.
No matter how much I smile,
I can't even hear the faintest thump.
All I know is darkness.
Is this how it's meant to be?
This dreadfully wonderful feeling.
This feeling we call love.
It was never easy,
nor will it ever be.
But with you,
I think it may just be possible.
It may just be a dream after all
Please tell me this is real.
Because the way you make my heart beat,
This has to be.
I can't stand for anymore broken dreams.
Saying GoodbyeI want to see you...
The way you look at me,
Showing me love so true.
That's the only thing I wish to see.
I want to touch you...
Feel you there as I fall asleep.
These feelings so new,
How is it that you make my heart beat?
I want to hear you...
So sing me my lullaby,
Just like you always used to.
Then, maybe, I'll be able to say goodbye.
Mine No LongerNothing dulls the pain
Not even this knife
Your words are engraved upon my skin
You voice trapped in my memory
No matter how much I rip my skin,
Your words still remain
No matter how many times I lose my mind,
Your voice is still there
My body goes through the motions
But really I'm a thousand miles away
In your arms
Just like I always wanted to be
You lips meeting mine
Then I hear someone calling me name
I realize it's not you
That I'm only dreaming again
I can't pretend anymore
I break down
My heart shatters
I know you're no longer mine
That you'll never be mine again
I am forced to remember
Remember what we had
What we could've had
Something I can no longer have
But someone I will always long for...
You and me...
I Only WishHair soaked
It almost feels like I'm in the rain
But I'm curled up in my bed
You're the whole reason I'm like this
Or is it really my fault?
Eyes never dry
Body never stops shaking
Stop telling me lies
That you still love me
That you'll come back
We'll be together again
Because you know what?
That's just bullshit
I've hard those one too many times
And I'm not going to believe you
You broke my heart
Can you hear it shattering?
Oh wait...I forgot you can't
You no longer care to hear
My words fall upon deaf ears
As well as my screams
I tried to make you stay
But you just turned your back
Said we'd be better this way
You're like everyone else
Why did I trust you?
Let you in?
Why did I believe you were different?
My eyes burn along with my lungs
Holding on to the last jagged piece
The last piece I have of you
It cuts deep into my skin
But I only hold it tighter
Letting the blood trickle down
Falling into the puddle of what I used to
Will You Ever Know?I'm not supposed to love you
My heart still burns like wildfire
I'm not supposed to care
My thoughts still revol around you
So tell me why I do
I still feel this desire
Tell me why I dare
Why do I do the things I do?
Perfectly LostThis endless beating.
It's your fault.
All the thoughts rushing.
They're all of you.
Nothing else is important.
Not compared to you.
I'm not sure why I care so much.
But I care about you.
You know how to make it fade.
Make it all fade away.
All I need is you by my side.
Holding my hand.
Just don't stop...
Whatever you do.
You're making my life complete.
Like it once was.
I need your touch.
It comforts me.
I long for the sweet taste.
The taste of your lips.
What am I to do with you?
You and I.
You are here.
Yet never truly mine.
Not mine to hold.
All I can do is look.
Behold your beauty.
I long for you.
Everything about you.
The way you walk.
The way you talk.
All the stupid little things you do.
They make you perfect.
Perfect for me.
They're what makes me so lost.
Lost in everything you.
I am nothingWhat am I?
What will I be?
What am I to you?
What am I to myself?
What have you proved to me?
What have I proved to myself?
for without you I am nothing
Belongs With YouI took for granted what I had.
Didn't think twice about losing you.
Because I thought you'd always be mine.
It's funny how thoughts are always wrong.
And reality is always so different,
So far from what you want it to be.
What you need it to be
At night I lay awake.
Thinking of how you used to hold me.
Rock me back and forth slowly.
Stroke my hair while you sang me to sleep.
Your voice was so soft,
I try to replay it in my head.
But I can't get you back
I still smile everytime I see you.
My heart beats a little too fast.
I try to tell myself that I'm ok,
That these feelings will go away.
But we both know that's not true.
No matter how hard I pretend,
I know I'm not ok without you.
You keep telling me it's alright.
That things are better this way,
You insist on this.
But my heart's telling me differently.
As my tears should be telling you.
You don't get it?
My love still lies in you.
And I'm starting to think it always will
My words are my downfall.
Teenage TaoismGiving birth is the closest I’d ever felt to dying.
Before that, my near death experiences had consisted only of my silent announcement of pregnancy—silent, being that my social media accounts were all deleted almost simultaneously and I never returned to school in the fall, saying without really saying that I had caught the malicious disease of “teenage pregnancy”. I’m sure the whisper spread in the hallways like the Bubonic Plague. That September, sitting at home on what would have been the first day of my senior year, I imagined friends I’d never talk to again saying “she was only seventeen, and so full of life!” at my absence in the cafeteria tables, as if they were attending my funeral instead of talking about me behind my back.
"Full of life," I had snorted then, folding a never ending stream of what had once been my own baby clothes. "Literally."
I walked around like a zombie for the months of my pregnancy, deciding t
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